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Like you have to ask?'s LiveJournal:
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| Thursday, December 15th, 2005 | | 1:39 pm |
ooc
This journal is now closed. | | Wednesday, December 7th, 2005 | | 1:02 pm |
| | Sunday, November 27th, 2005 | | 7:50 pm |
an accurate meme, no less...is that possible?
The Smoldering Ember
You placed in vanity rank 13 |
You can fool a whole lot of people, but not me. We both know you're hot, though you'll claim otherwise from time to time. What other people misunderstand as modesty is actually a deeper, darker facade. Borderline evil, really. But who gives a shit, right? You're having fun, you get what you want, and god damn if you don't look right sexy doing it.
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I've got you pretty well figured out by now.
I'm into your style. Check out mine.
www.ubervanity.com
(Don't worry about losing your place on OkCupid. It will stay open in a separate window) |
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My test tracked 1 variable How you compared to other people your age and gender:
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You scored higher than 61% on vanity |
| | | 10:37 am |
| | Wednesday, November 23rd, 2005 | | 9:10 am |
| | Tuesday, November 15th, 2005 | | 2:10 pm |
on the harbor(photo TM prompt)
She's seventeen years old and has been with her Watcher for a year now,living in Boston.Faith grew up there.She's never been the sort to be all that attached to places,though;when she met the older woman,it was actually in a bar in Vegas.The Watcher had been somewhat annoyed at having to track her down. They'd argued all the way up to good ol' New England.Faith finally agreed to give it,meaning Slayer training,a shot.She didn't see any harm in learning more about how to defend herself. There's respect now,even liking,but it isn't in any sense a partnership.Faith has been on her own too long,and the Watcher's unprepared to deal with a rebellious young woman who does not conduct herself as a solitary,(HA!!)or 'dedicated warrior.' The city's quieter than the wild spots she frequents.One night,she wanders down to the harbor.It's a foggy night.Sounds carry near water,but there's not much to hear.She sits,unselfconscious,leans her back against a wooden beam. The boats slide through the choppy blue waves. For a little while,she can pretend that she's just any other street kid,or a normal seventeen-year-old girl.That this really is her home,not simply a stop on the way to something unknown and frightening,or to an early,Glorious Funeral. Yeah,she read those books too.Not that she has any intention of playing out other people's expectations for her,no matter what they may think. A seagull lands next to her. Faith digs into her pocket,throws it a piece of bread from a hot dog she ate earlier.It gulps it down greedily and squawks,looking hopeful. "Sorry. I know,I always want more too." It shakes its feathers, and hops off the pier, spreading its wings.A heartbeat later,and it's gone,disappeared into the mists. Muse:Faith Fandom:BTVS/AtS Word count: 250 Current Mood:  nostalgic | | Sunday, November 6th, 2005 | | 1:42 pm |
loss of control
Nighttime and New York streetlights above her head don't show that the fluid pooling at her feet is dark red, not clear or muddy water.She ignores screams from behind her and pain as a vampire's teeth sink into her arm. A stake slides from its place in her jacket. The shriek of a dusting echoes when it's buried in the vamp's chest. She keeps moving. Spins on one foot, to catch another vampire that's rushing at Oz.A cruel,almost hungry smile is seen,and gone. Faith isn't there anymore.The Slayer's come to the party. No time to think,to worry,to know anything but the dance. Move.Strike.Dodge.Let the darker,stronger side run.When the fight's over,they're safe.She's long since used to it. She goes home,the two men following her. The door's barely closed when she reaches for them, wanting skin against skin.They're eager to oblige. As always;restraint isn't always one of their favorite virtues.Hell,more often than not it doesn't even make the top twenty. Lets them call the pace,at first.She's feeling too good to be selfish.It's sweeter sometimes not to have to be the one who'll catch a fall if it happens. Daylight,and she walks through the skin of the world, finds herself Somewhere Else.Realm,plane,timehold...other people's names. She takes a friend's invitation to come flying. Faith climbs up and out a window in a high tower, and jumps.Nothing beneath her but several hundred feet of air, the ground far below her.The Slayer's laughing in pure joy as they chase each other through the sky. Trust. Or lose out on moments like this,and she finds the loss of "control" more than worthwhile. Another day,and she touches the ring on her left hand.She gave part of herself over to them, risked saying that she wanted them to be with her forever. Theirs. It was wonderful and terrifying at the same time. As certain as she might be what their answers would be, no one knows better than Faith that nothing in life is absolutely guaranteed. Control's illusory. She's always had a habit of looking past the comfortable to what was real. Muse: Faith Fandom: BTVS word count:348 Current Mood:  content | | Wednesday, November 2nd, 2005 | | 5:59 pm |
What do you think when you look in the mirror?
"Damn,I look good!" or "Time to shower,girl." If I just woke up,I'm not going to be all Introspective Girl.I know what I look like.It's possible to overthink this,you know? Eyes aren't always the window to someone's soul. I check for bruises, or cuts, or to make sure I haven't grown scales/turned blue overnight. Not so much with the worrying over gray hair or wrinkles. It's the other colors I keep an eye out for; red, darker red, black, where they maybe shouldn't be, if it's after a patrol night or facing the latest wannabe bad guy.Or gal. If not,the usual girly stuff. I like myself the way I am, most of the time. It's like those questions about what would I change if I could.I wouldn't,I'm satisfied if not always bright and perky with what I see in myself.I don't look for perfect,thanks. I think about what I'll do next,when I'm done with all this stuff that my husbands say is TMI; hair,a little makeup, wash and so on, clothes. I smile.I think "Okay, made it through another night of weirdness or great sex or housework",or whatever it was this time. I don't look for long.I glance,check it out, and then I'm done for the day. Muse: Faith Fandom: BTVS word count:173 Current Mood: awake | | Friday, October 21st, 2005 | | 7:34 pm |
ashamed[private, not visible to other muses]
You want the whole catalog? I used to tell myself I didn't feel ashamed. What can I say, I may not have been THE world's best actor,but second best ain't bad. I know. The stuff that happened in Sunnydale? I didn't feel ashamed after I did it,which I assume is what the question means. Now might be another story,but it's more like sorry and sickened than 'ashamed'. No, I didn't tell Buffy or Angel that in so many words.I don't intend to, not publically. They know by my actions, or they don't know at all. I'll just have to deal, either way.I don't admit weakness or old hurts aloud,kiddies. My survival instincts haven't slipped that far. That said? I was ashamed of what I did to Wes, a few years ago.I thought he and Cordelia hated me,but that's not an excuse. I'd slid over the edge into wanting to kill, or wanting to die, to shut down all the little slices of hell that had worked their way under my skin. I decided to draft Angel as my executioner. He wouldn't play. So I went after his friends,his family. I tied Wes up, and--and the worst part? Even after I hurt him, Angel was still trying to get through to me.I'm guessing,but I had the sense that hurt Wes a lot too,and it was my fault. Why wouldn't I let this part be public-? Because I don't want anything from Wes that he doesn't want to give on his own.The memories are bad sometimes,but he hasn't ever brought it up since my last prison breakout. If he's okay with it,be damned if I'm going to rake the old shit up to make myself feel better. If he's not,he'll tell me sooner or later.I think,I hope that he is,but I'm not going to ask. Muse:Faith Fandom: Buffy the Vampire Slayer word count: 310 Current Mood:  annoyed | | Saturday, October 8th, 2005 | | 7:24 am |
Who do you need to forgive?
Forgiveness is a luxury I can't afford for myself.I wish I dared. People make it sound so simple these days and it's not. Forgiveness is 'the new black'; something that everyone's entitled to, and if you don't practice it, you're not "acting properly." Um, hello? I murdered people.One was a man that had been sitting a desk for thirty years, and had about as much idea how to fight as your average radish. And I didn't care. Or, not enough to stop, to say no. Hell, I got off on doing it. Literally. What, did you think that tussle years ago, nearly strangling Xander Harris to death while we were getting it on, was coincidence?Wanton, and bloodthirsty, and laughing in the face of anyone who tries to tell me "you can't" or "you shouldn't." That's still part of who I am. No, it doesn't rule me anymore. It's still there.I didn't come out of the dark side or whatever you want to call it, on my own. Granted, most people don't seem to, but--"forgive and possibly forget?" I can't. Ian says, whether or not I'm at peace over it, his God "will forgive anyone with a sincerely repentant heart." Guess we'll find out eventually...but I'm in no hurry to ask, now or probably ever. I get the feeling I'm not going to like hearing the answer. Muse: Faith Fandom: BTVS/AtS Word count: 229 Current Mood: bitchy | | Tuesday, September 27th, 2005 | | 11:14 am |
| | Friday, September 16th, 2005 | | 6:32 am |
| | Tuesday, September 6th, 2005 | | 12:53 pm |
| | Sunday, August 28th, 2005 | | 11:06 pm |
| | Wednesday, August 24th, 2005 | | 5:52 am |
words taken back?
I could say I'd take back threatening Buffy, or Angel, while I was in Sunnydale. That'd go beyond 'one thing', though. I don't think words are the worst of what I did. Few things like murder, attempted murder, kidnapping, torturing a few people, conspiracy to help the Mayor ascend by eating B's graduating class? come to mind. I was a prize bitch back then at times, no mistake, but I can't think of any one comment I made that was so much worse than the rest. Ditto Wes. The times we weren't getting along--as in, trying to tear each other new holes--words weren't my main weapon. Okay, this is goin' in circles. And taking back the words, if I could? That wouldn't do jack for anyone. More recent stuff though; I...yeah. [private, not visible to anyone else] I lost it, while I was fighting with Oz, couple days ago. Said maybe he should get with the program. Marriage, and I do plan to stick with it, on agreed terms, doesn't mean I stopped being what I am. There are going to be times when stuff can't be decided by the whole group. It's not a big thing. He and I both cooled off. Wish though that I hadn't gone off on him. Because looking back, I think I was partly wrong too, and it might've been the last words he got to hear. Gah. Maudlin but true. Sometimes I see what I must look like to him and to Bri, and it's not a pretty picture.[/lock] I got nothing. Muse: Faith Fandom: Buffy the Vampire Slayer word count: 261 Current Mood: annoyed | | Wednesday, August 10th, 2005 | | 10:34 am |
What is your greatest strength?
Weelll, in spite of what I was sayin' in my earlier post that got poor Wes so flustered, it's not my sexual prowess. Oh, I got mad skillz, but it's "Slayer", not "Sleeper." Personally, I'd say if I let a guy get any sleep before I do, something's off, but we won't go into that. So what is it about me that's most useful in dealing with all the shit life hands us? ( Read more... )Muse: Faith Fandom: Buffy the Vampire Slayer Word count: 265 Current Mood: content | | Tuesday, July 26th, 2005 | | 2:11 am |
What is your favorite time of day? Why?
I don't call either night or day my absolute fave. It's about what happens in the moments that make 'em good or bad, whether it's hearin' someone's voice, feeling them so close to you you can feel them breathe, or the moment after a hard fight or wild sex, when you hit a high. Nighttimes, when I'm out Slaying, the wind in my face when Morgan takes me flying. Clouds or stars overhead. The way a knife or stake feels in my hands. Daylight, just before dawn most likely, Oz kissing me awake. Brien racing me down the hill on our way somewhere. Those can be during broad daylight or middle of the nighttime. Why restrict it to the 'usual' times? Who wants to live on a freaking schedule?For me, it's riding the edge that's my favorite part of anything; when I give something(or someone) all I've got. And when they turn around and give it right back. Winner's thrill? Not only that, these days. The rush is still sweet, though, whether it's me taking the lead or someone else. Muse: Faith Fandom: Buffy the Vampire Slayer Word count: 181 Current Mood: cheerful | | Tuesday, July 19th, 2005 | | 10:22 am |
| | Monday, July 11th, 2005 | | 2:42 pm |
When I first saw...
When I first saw Sunnydale, seven years ago, I thought, "Hey. Here's my chance. Nobody here knows me." I figured, Slayer, Hellmouth, I could be something great. ( Read more... )Muse: Faith Fandom: BTVS Word count: 231 Current Mood: accomplishedCurrent Music: Coldplay's new album | | Wednesday, February 23rd, 2005 | | 12:02 pm |
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